Words from Ans

Cheers to failure!

2011-08-07T01:18:00.000-07:00

Guys, I have a problem (shocker, I know). I have a chronic fear of failure. I will go so far out of my way not to fail that I keep myself from taking really exciting and fun opportunities. Because I'm terrified. I'm terrified of actually going after what I want and then failing.

So I shared all this with my mom last night. What did she have to say?

"Ansley, I hope you fail. I hope you fall flat on your face and screw everything up. Because then you'll realize that failing isn't so bad. And you'll get up. And you'll start over. And everything will be a lot easier."

Okay, Mama Rix. We get it. You're smart.

Well, cheers to failure everyone!

My Letter to You

2009-07-20T18:41:00.000-07:00

Dear You,

You probably already think this letter is about you. You think this not because its obvious that any hateful thing I would ever have to say would be directed towards you. No. You think this letter is to you because you are arrogant and self-centered. It's only obvious that everything would be about you, right? Unfortunately, you've been a big enough ass that I haven't been able to completely forget about you. So yes, right now, this letter is to you. But don't worry, I will forget you one day. I will forget you and never remember the little speck of a person who poured a mountain of pain on my soul. You should fear that day. Because once that day comes, the last person that could ever love you will be gone.

I will never forgive you for the things you've done. I've tried to ignore, I've tried to accept, I've tried to love. But how can you love a disease?

I'm sure at this point you are already conjuring excuses and counterarguments to my factual accusations. Go ahead. Make your point. Just try. See who agrees with you.

There's no one on your side. You are alone. You are all alone. Sure, you have your lovers, and your drink, and your delusions. How many of those have stayed with you? Have you even kept one thing constant your whole life besides your narcissim?

Loneliness has been your only companion.

I used to feel sorry for you. I used to pity your desolate, hopeless, meaningless life. But now I see you've done it to yourself. You've made your life this way.

Are you happy?

I know you aren't.

I used to feel sorry for you. But now I don't. You got the life you deserve.

With Hate,
Me.

First Thought

2009-07-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you just want someone. Someone that is only yours and who feels equally inclined towards you. When you can't get that, it's annoying.

The Introduction

2009-07-11T13:23:00.001-07:00

This place needs no introduction since I don't plan on advertising it to anyone, but if I change my mind: I think a lot and it feels good to write it down. Enjoy.